Astrology is an ancient scientific method that uses the the location and movement of local planetary bodies to contemplate The Mind of God. The realization of this task is impossible – but the attempt has benefited me for more than twenty years.  Time and again I have turned to astrology as a model for the construction of my inner reality in order to find self-acceptance and clarity and so move more fluidly in the world. The more I study this dynamic system the more doors that open.  In a world of one-size-fits-all thinking, astrology is an epistemology that wholly embraces nuance, complexity, and intuition. Information emerges from horoscopes in layers, like witness the appearance of a lost object from a mysterious land. Each of us has a unique line of sight at reality; a singular set of tools; an individuated system of processes for moving through time and processing information. I love working with clients to uncover these unique aspects of themselves so that they can be more empowered in their realities. I find a great high in collaborating with people in finding meaning in natal, transit and relational astrology charts. It is a gift to witness persons up close: their desires, spiritual practices, circumstances, relationships, dispositions, jobs and heart-breaks. I am called to hold space for the airing of the inner lives of a diversity of personalities.  Through astrology one can celebrate joy, open to grief, allow for angst, laugh at failure, and armor oneself against prevailing cultural modes of thought which might be a hinderance to growth. The differences in our respective realities, paths, and contributions are fascinating to celebrate.

 

I know first-hand the necessity of spiritual tools. As a young Scorpio I was often lost to myself – burdened by fear, neuroses, and confusion. Astrology has been a tool in learning to love who I am – rather than who I think I should be, which, in turn, has allowed me to work more efficiently in the world – without resisting my tendencies but embracing them as intentionally placed within me by God as portals for learning, growth, and healing.  Astrology can bring light to shadow, give shadow meaning, foster clarity of purpose, open us to deeper callings, and allow us to move more fluidly through a complex dimension that oftentimes seems determined to trick us out of our divinity.

 

The study of Astrology – in conjunction with the reading of the tarot – has, in many ways, been my life’s work and has continued concomitantly throughout various other seasons of obsession and interest. I have had many jobs, passions, obsessions, and identities. I bring a lot of "normal" experience to this field. I am not from an esoteric, spiritual, or healing-oriented culture: I grew up in New Jersey, going to prep school, playing sports, and making sure I had enough extra-curricular activities for my college applications. I have nothing against any of these things in themselves, but, by grace, my life has been a continual process of transformation: Seeking and surrendering, failing and falling, praying and pacing, confusion and clarity, shedding and recalcifying. I have been an upright bass player, chiropractic receptionist, gas station attendant, coffee-maker, and naturalist.  I have been a van-camper, night-owl, singer, and father.  I have been a care-taker, substitute teacher, and yogi. I have been miserable. I have been well. I have been healthy. I have lived off of ice cream and cigarettes. I have gone years without reading a book because my mind was too full of noise. I have read Dostoevsky cover to cover. I have known peace. I have felt I was going insane and have hidden it from everyone around me. I have lost friends. I have made friends. I have felt awful inside a body. I have felt at home in a body. I have felt beyond human aid. I have cared nothing for the forest. And I have known trees as friends and felt myself bonded to them from the bottom of my heart.

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In 2011 I moved west across the US in order to get sober and at once I began searching more vigilantly for the divine. Though I managed to stay dry in the these early years of pilgrimage, I existed mostly in a perpetual state of fear. My search for peace has led me to multiple modalities of healing and transformation including: psychedelic plants, 12-step work, walking, yoga, astrology, tarot, singing, reading, theology, and prayer. I see now that my desire for alcohol was a desire for transformation. The desire to abandon myself to drugs, to obliterate myself with the help of a substance – even to die – was not in itself a wrong impulse. But the result of this feeling depends greatly on the nature of the hands in which I place myself to be obliterated. If channeled into certain directions the results of my desperation have been overwhelmingly positive.

 

Upon arrival at my Los Angeles rehab those 13 years ago, I began my study of the tarot. Wanting to occupy nervous hands, the cards naturally joined my then-current habits of journaling, chain-smoking, and scattered rumination. I learned how to shuffle the deck. I read tarot books. I did spreads for similarly distraught fellow rehab attendees. The cards were a subject worthy of obsession. They were a way out of myself – into both a larger cosmos as well as the lives of others – at a time when living too deeply inside myself was a dangerous act. Tarot – a parlor game of mysterious, multi-cultural origins – has the ability to deepen one's relationship to the present by arranging images which are then narrated into a story in order that one might find clarity and acceptance of the true forces at play in any given situation – and so move forward more confident of the true nature of the experience. Moreover, Tarot Cards are a great tool for further opening the results of astrological inquiry. The modes feed off each other, creating harmonic resonances of surprising detail and  comprehension. The Message of the Universe is always written right in front of us – the cards simply give the ether an opportunity to speak. Tea leaves, crystal balls and dreams work on similar principles. And tarot cards are adaptable. Specific questions can be asked, or one can simply look into the mystery and ask to be guided. Affirmations of self can be gleaned. Difficult relationships can be examined. Choices can be understood more thoroughly from a multiplicity of angles. Books have been written about the symbolic and mythological depths of a single tarot card.  But, as with all forms of esoteric examination, the tarot meets us precisely where we are.  We don't need to try to see beyond our sight, but only to accept whole-heartedly what it is we are seeing. Like astrology, I believe that tarot is a medium for Love. And it isn't so much predictive as it is revelatory. I pray to see clearly what is really here. And to really let that be my world. To honor that for all it is. That's where the magic is – in acceptance.

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I continue to be called to collaborate with others on spiritual and healing paths. Whether this means flipping tarot cards, astrology consultation, or sitting in the forest, I want to be available as an agent of Love. I am not a healer. I am another pilgrim, looking for the path, wanting to trust. I am a third wheel. Your relationship is with yourself, with Spirit, with drugs, with nature. I am there only to triangulate what you already know, but are now ready to see, feel, and integrate into your life. The work is a team effort. Like dancing, like sports, like conversation. The healer is within each of us. And maybe beyond us too.

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Spiritual transformation has been a part of the human experience for millennia. In these despiritualized times of mechanistic science and divisive, materialist politics, I hope to normalize spiritual experiences for others. I consider myself religious in the sense that I wish to reintegrate my self to Earth, to Source, and to Wholeness – because doing so turns alleviates isolation and turns even suffering itself into a joyous occasion. Joy is the foundational energy of this dimension and can coexist supportively with misery, suffering, sadness, desperation, happiness, peace, and love. It is my repeated experience with the paradox of surrender that has lead me to this theological model and I continue to practice seeking the will of Love in all things – especially suffering – in order that I might find relief from my self, walk with more peace, and get high on the unfolding of greater and greater collective awareness in this dimension. This practice is also known as Sacred Magic. Its purpose is to accomplish the will of God – as opposed to attempting to control the universe. Working in these ideologies I consider myself to be an aspiring participant in the mysterious trans-dimensional New Age project of The Exploding of The Cosmic Christ. I believe that our suffering as individuals has meaning on a galactic scale. 

 

At core I am still a drug addict who wishes to get high, to transcend, to be beautiful, to be seen. I hope to convey my history of spiritual poverty in my work. I try not to moralize. There is not right way to do things. There is no ideology worth the loss of your authentic self. I believe every single person is on the cross, no matter the past, none of us is beyond redemption. I see no hierarchy of our earthly roles. All of us are impure, fallen, striving, redeemable. And every breath we take is work. All of us are on the path. We can't not be. There's no mistakes – only learning.

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I am open to working with people of many beliefs, but I am particularly drawn to people who are interested in fostering a spiritual life of any sort. I believe we are spiritual beings with hearts and souls, born inside a force of Love that wishes to see us thrive. I believe we are alive for a reason. And I believe change is possible.

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Thank you for reading. I look forward to collaborating with you.

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Alec

May 2024